Bugs are scary!

So this is an incident I ran into about a week ago and decided it was worth telling:

The day is Thursday, the time is 11:30pm, well into our quiet hours.
Lately in my hall I have had a lot of noise late at night with several doors being slammed. So I warned my residents at Wednesday wing meeting that I would be cracking down on noise and doors as people are starting to study more for exams coming up in a few weeks.

Anyway at 11:30 one night I am sitting in my dorm minding my own business when I just hear screaming and yelling. This isn't the type of screaming and yelling when there is an emergency, this is screaming and yelling from fear! I throw on my shoes and bolt down the hall to figure out what the problem is.

I bang on the door and am told to come inside. What I find surprised even me. I found four boys in the room. Two of them on a bed, one of them in the corner and another by the door. They were all screaming! Why? A bug.

Me: Do you know what time it is? Why are you screaming?

Resident: Swifty Morgan look at that bug!!!!

Me: *looks at bug then back at residents* ok cool, why are you screaming?

Resident: That thing was flying around, we don't know what it is, and we think it may reproduce asexually.

I KID YOU NOT! My resident told me he thought the bug could reproduce asexually. I had to work so hard not to laugh.

Me: Ok cool. ID's please. You are all getting documented for noise violations at 11:30 pm.

Resident: But Swifty, did you see the bug?!?!?

Me: Yes, I did. Now I want to see the ID's.

I documented four residents for screaming at 11:30.
Am I mean? Maybe.
Did they earn that doc? Yes
Am I sorry? No. Screaming is stupid.

So I documented them and some of them may lose points if they have two other documentations for the same violation within the past thirty days. (I know some of them are getting close because I have documented them recently).

I returned their ID's and asked where the bug went and they told me it had gone under the bed.
I wished them a good night and advised them to take out their pizza boxes more often. (There were several of them under the bed, and this is the same room that the pizza box adventure was about earlier this semester)

Was the bug big? YES, it was about four inches long, and was flying around the room and landed on a wall when I walked in.

How are these guys ever going to get a girlfriend if they scream like girls when a bug moves about the room. Time for some maturity and a big shoe.