Back in action!

Alright folks, Swifty Morgan is back in action!
School started yesterday and so far a few exciting things have happened.
This semester is my last semester here at work/school and I am loving it. 12 hours of classes and no class on Monday or Friday. Can life as a Senior be any better? I think not!

So I guess you probably want to hear a funny work related story? Yes? Ok, well first I am going to tell a serious work related story.
As you know I have 42 Senior Guys on my wing. Not 1 of them left over Christmas break. That is pretty cool, also only 7 doc's were given to those 42 guys. That is super low, and I have the student with the most community service hours on my wing. Oh yeah!

So now a funny story?  Ok :)
So we got a new RA over the break for the other senior guys. Well one of the senior guys was telling the his friend out in the parking lot that he met the new RA, well his friend didn't really believe him and that is when I walked up.

'Swifty, Jake keeps telling me about this new RA we have. Is it true?'

Me: 'Jake, what are you talking about?'
Jake: 'The new RA, I already met him'
Me: 'What new RA? You didn't get a new RA. Greg is still your RA'
Friend 'Jake you liar....'
Jake 'Well then who was it that I talked to that told me he was the new RA?'
Me:  'haha probably just some maintenance guy in the building trying to be funny.'
Jake 'Wow, he really was convincing! Oh well, we will see Greg tonight'

So I was able to successfully get him to think that he didn't really have a new RA, he does have a new RA and the new RA is fitting in great here at work.

It is only the first week so hopefully students will start doing more exciting things soon!

-Swifty

The life and times of Swifty Morgan

Well, the life and times of Swifty Morgan haven't changed too much. I haven't had any good work stories to blog about recently. I'll have to stir something up to make some new adventures.
Until then... adios!

"That didn't go over as well as I thought it would"

I don't write this blog folks, it writes itself. That's right. I just transcribe actual events onto the internet:
The following took place this last Monday in my English class in college.

It was another somewhat entertaining day in English today as we were talking about ancient rhetorics and how they can be found in the writings of today. My teacher was busy using the overhead projector computer display to search for proverbs on the internet. Not proverbs like the book of proverbs in the Bible, you don't need to look for it, you should know where that is, in the Bible. Anyway, she was looking for those catchy little sayings like 'An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure', 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and so on and so forth. Well a kid in my class all of a sudden just jolted up and said "I HAVE A GOOD RELIGIOUS PROVERB! CAN I GOOGLE IT?!"....
This guy totally interrupted the teachers train of thought and took the entire class off guard.
"Well, um, ok, I guess so" said my teacher rather flustered.
By the time she got to the um the boy had already jumped from his seat and was a few strides away from the computer.

He quickly got to the google website and this is where things got interesting.
The kid clicked on google images. As most people know you NEVER do a LIVE google images search in front of a class. No matter what you type in there is always something awkward that will appear on screen and embarrass you. This kid didn't know that....
He  typed in "Odin ice giant" into the search bar and clicked the search button with the same great enthusiasm that he started with.

This was the picture he clicked on:

A rather interesting proverb indeed. In case the link breaks with the picture the quote says 'Jesus promised the end of all wicked people. Odin promised the end of all ice giants. I don't see many ice giants around'

I have no idea how this is a proverb.
To make it better the kid turned and looked at the class with this huge "I AM AWESOME" grin.
Nobody said anything or laughed at all.
Next he said "Well that didn't go over like I thought it would"

This statement got many more laughs than did his funny picture. I kinda felt bad for the kid but hey, this is college now, you can't do this kind of nonsense and expect people to always laugh to be nice.

The teacher continued by saying 'Well, um, cool" and then going back to her google search.

Just another day in Swifty Morgan's neighborhood.

Yes, it is okay to talk to girls.

Here in my dorm we have a tornado drill at the beginning of each semester. The noise is insanely loud and goes on and on for several minutes. Basically on my guys wing the 2 wings above us drop down into our hallway and sit in our hall. My guys get to chill in their bathrooms because the bathrooms are not on the exterior part of the building. The wing above us is girls and they come sit in the hallway during the drill. And after the tornado drill I had the funniest conversation with a student.
Me: Congrats, you guys survived the tornado, any questions about the procedures?
Student: "yeah, so we just go in the bathroom?"
Me: Yup you just go in the bathroom, it is great because it is probably quieter in the bathroom and also not as crowded as the hall way.
Student: Who comes to our wing anyway?
Me: A mix of seniors, both boys and girls.
Student: So senior girls come down here?
Me: Yes...
Student: So....
Me: Are you asking if it is okay for you to go outside and sit by the senior girls?
Student: I guess so.
Me: Yes, if you want to meet girls during a tornado be my guest.

Only time will tell if sitting by girls during tornado drills can get you a date.

Work Orders

So I am back at work and all of my residents are moved in, that means lots of work orders to be turned in for things that don't work in their rooms.
Here is one work order I wrote up today:

Toilet in resident room has a low flow issue. Upon initiation of flush procedure by activation of toilet flush lever the toilet fails to dispense an appropriate amount of fluids to complete the flushing action. Current toilet status requires resident to flush multiple times in rapid succession to complete flushing process.

The form online said to be detailed and describe the problem. task completed.

Look forward to more updates.

I'm BACK!

Swifty Morgan is BACK.

I just got back from nine weeks of boy scout camp out at hale scout reservation in Talihina Oklahoma.
These are a few of the great stories from this summer:

Werewolf Boy:
One week out at camp we sent a kid home because he thought he was a werewolf. That's right. A werewolf. This kid would run around and try to bite other campers and was constantly talking about the full moon. I do not know what would possess a twelve year old kid to honestly think he was a werewolf, but this kid did. The full moon happened to be the day after this kid got sent home. Maybe someone at camp was afraid something bad would happen on the full moon and this kid would go crazy. I really don't know how this kid survives but it will be funny someday when he is a parent and has kids and gets to explain that he got kicked out of boy scout camp for acting and honestly believing he was a werewolf. Come to think of it this will be a great story for his parents to tell his first girlfriend. Hopefully she finds it funny and embarrassing and is not into werewolves. On second thought, I hope this kid doesn't have kids. They might believe they are the loch ness monster or something absurd.



More to follow tomorrow!

Some people pay a lot to look cool....

So today I was at the local Academy Sports and Outdoors retailer, you know... the one that has the right stuff at the right price?
I was here a few days ago to visit the fishing department and the storefront looked normal, upon my return today it looked like a bomb of Dallas Mavericks Championship gear exploded in the entrance. I could not believe how quickly companies had produced these apparel items. Then I realized that these were probably made BEFORE the Dallas Mavericks even won the series which would lead me to believe that sitting somewhere in a warehouse is a huge lot of Oklahoma City Thunder apparel. What is going to happen to these shirts and hats? Probably they will be donated or sold dirt cheap to the poor in foreign countries. I remember when I was in youth group and we used to go down to Mexico every year to build houses, (Back when people were not scared of drug lords and machine guns), I would always see people wearing lots of sports clothing for teams in the USA. I now believe that most of this is donated. Maybe all those children in Juarez really do love the Denver Broncos but my guess goes with the corporate donation.
I know when civilians donate items they get to deduct so much from their taxes... well I would bet that corporations that donate shirts and hats for teams that didn't perform get to donate those as well.
At academy a basic Mavericks t-shirt will run you about 20 dollars.... lets say that it cost 6 dollars to manufacture and ship that shirt in bulk.
The company has to pay for an OKC Thunder shirt to be made too so that bumps up production costs to 12 dollars a shirt.
That 12 dollar shirt now gets sold for 20 which puts 8 dollars in profit into the store and/or manufacturer.
But now the producer has a bunch of OKC Thunder shirts that are wrong... what to do?
I would guess that they donate these shirts, write them off at a cost of production value and deduct that from their taxes.
Lets say the deduction rate is a dollar deducted for a dollar donated.
Now they have earned 14 dollars per shirt based on the 6 dollar production cost making it worthwhile to print shirts for both outcomes because no matter who wins you will make the money of the lost shirts back.

Lesson learned? I need to get into the sports apparel business.