So today I was at the local Academy Sports and Outdoors retailer, you know... the one that has the right stuff at the right price?
I was here a few days ago to visit the fishing department and the storefront looked normal, upon my return today it looked like a bomb of Dallas Mavericks Championship gear exploded in the entrance. I could not believe how quickly companies had produced these apparel items. Then I realized that these were probably made BEFORE the Dallas Mavericks even won the series which would lead me to believe that sitting somewhere in a warehouse is a huge lot of Oklahoma City Thunder apparel. What is going to happen to these shirts and hats? Probably they will be donated or sold dirt cheap to the poor in foreign countries. I remember when I was in youth group and we used to go down to Mexico every year to build houses, (Back when people were not scared of drug lords and machine guns), I would always see people wearing lots of sports clothing for teams in the USA. I now believe that most of this is donated. Maybe all those children in Juarez really do love the Denver Broncos but my guess goes with the corporate donation.
I know when civilians donate items they get to deduct so much from their taxes... well I would bet that corporations that donate shirts and hats for teams that didn't perform get to donate those as well.
At academy a basic Mavericks t-shirt will run you about 20 dollars.... lets say that it cost 6 dollars to manufacture and ship that shirt in bulk.
The company has to pay for an OKC Thunder shirt to be made too so that bumps up production costs to 12 dollars a shirt.
That 12 dollar shirt now gets sold for 20 which puts 8 dollars in profit into the store and/or manufacturer.
But now the producer has a bunch of OKC Thunder shirts that are wrong... what to do?
I would guess that they donate these shirts, write them off at a cost of production value and deduct that from their taxes.
Lets say the deduction rate is a dollar deducted for a dollar donated.
Now they have earned 14 dollars per shirt based on the 6 dollar production cost making it worthwhile to print shirts for both outcomes because no matter who wins you will make the money of the lost shirts back.
Lesson learned? I need to get into the sports apparel business.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Kayak + More!
Swifty Morgan became a seafaring captain yesterday.
I took two kayaks out to the lake yesterday evening. It was so much fun!
The super awesome girlfriend and I used to go to the lake all the time just to sit and watch the water. Last night we figured out the last time we went to go watch the water must have been about a year ago before I went to camp last summer. But the girlfriend and I had a great time just paddling around.
And if one of my coworkers is reading this: yesterday, I was captain of my ship.
Today I have a lot of cleaning and packing to do before I go to camp on Sunday.
-Swifty
I took two kayaks out to the lake yesterday evening. It was so much fun!
The super awesome girlfriend and I used to go to the lake all the time just to sit and watch the water. Last night we figured out the last time we went to go watch the water must have been about a year ago before I went to camp last summer. But the girlfriend and I had a great time just paddling around.
And if one of my coworkers is reading this: yesterday, I was captain of my ship.
Today I have a lot of cleaning and packing to do before I go to camp on Sunday.
-Swifty
Saturday, May 21, 2011
First Page of the Last Chapter
So Swifty Morgan is now a senior in college.
3 years down, 1 to go!
This new blogger format is driving me nuts, for some reason it doesn't like the enter button. oh well.
This summer I will be working at Camp Tom Hale. A Boy Scout camp. <--- That IS the real name. Now you know where Swifty Morgan will be. I will be working in scoutcraft somewhere and teaching merit badges. Access to a computer will be limited so blog posts will be saved and posted mostly on the weekends.
I depart for camp on the 29th and will spend 9 weeks in the wilderness. The wilderness is a great time to write, I really like it out there. The middle of the Ouachita national forest is a great place to relax and write.
My RA job is done for the spring and I can't wait to get back to it in the fall, I already miss COLLEGE TOWN and my RA coworkers.
-Swifty
3 years down, 1 to go!
This new blogger format is driving me nuts, for some reason it doesn't like the enter button. oh well.
This summer I will be working at Camp Tom Hale. A Boy Scout camp. <--- That IS the real name. Now you know where Swifty Morgan will be. I will be working in scoutcraft somewhere and teaching merit badges. Access to a computer will be limited so blog posts will be saved and posted mostly on the weekends.
I depart for camp on the 29th and will spend 9 weeks in the wilderness. The wilderness is a great time to write, I really like it out there. The middle of the Ouachita national forest is a great place to relax and write.
My RA job is done for the spring and I can't wait to get back to it in the fall, I already miss COLLEGE TOWN and my RA coworkers.
-Swifty
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Time to start turning off the machine.
Some say it takes a fully loaded freight train a real long time to come to a complete stop. Think about it, the average freight train (90-120 cars) takes 18 football fields to come to a complete stop under emergency conditions. Under non-emergency conditions it takes a LONG TIME. Well that is how work and school is going now. We are still chugging along but slowly deaccelerating. Each week the throttle gets pulled back just a little bit.
This week quiet hours were extended to all but 1 hour per day. Yup 23 hour a day quiet hours... anyone want to guess where else in the world this system of 23 hour restraint takes place?
That's right!
Super-Max Prisons.
Only in my dorm I don't force you to stay in a tiny cell all day and eat food loafs. And you can always go outside for some rec time and take as many showers as you want.
Sounds like you're living the dream!
One other thing I do not think my students truly appreciate is a clean room. Many of them (despite my urgings) are waiting until the last day possible to clean their rooms.
Can it be done? Yes, Yes it can.
Can it be done in under an hour? Not to my standards!
If I check them out and the room is randomly selected to be checked for cleanliness AND part of it that I signed off on is dirty, guess who gets to go clean it? That's right! Swifty gets to put on the gloves and trade his gun for a bottle of 409 or Windex.
I have three more exams before I am done with school for my Junior year of college.
Thursday:
Honors Environmental Science
Correctional Systems
Friday:
Criminal Law
Lots of reading to do for Criminal Law, a little bit of reviewing for environmental science, and just looking at the index for correctional systems.
Sounds easy enough!
The super amazing girlfriend is already out of school for the semester, and I am really jealous because I wish I were back home with her instead of here cleaning and working on exams. But next week will be exciting because the two of us are going to take a road trip to Kansas for the week to visit my Grandparents. (Hmmmm, I think they need a blog name....) They will be referred to as the World Champion Grandparents. I am visiting my world champion grandparents in Kansas and cannot wait to get up there.
*Side note: As a little kid my world champion grandparents would always introduce us grandkids as world champion grandson or granddaughter. As a kid I always thought this was pretty cool to be thought of like that. Now that I am a criminal justice major I learn about this awesome thing called labeling theory. Basically it states that if you call someone something or label them as such eventually their attitudes and actions will work to fit that label. So I don't know if I am who I am because my grandparents said I was a world champion but I am sure it didn't hurt. I will have to remember that when/if I am a parent/grandparent/great-grandparent.... Mostly the first one.
Well that is all for tonight folks, remember May is Click it or Ticket Month. More officers are on the road looking for that magic seat belt. Have a great day!
-Swifty
This week quiet hours were extended to all but 1 hour per day. Yup 23 hour a day quiet hours... anyone want to guess where else in the world this system of 23 hour restraint takes place?
That's right!
Super-Max Prisons.
Only in my dorm I don't force you to stay in a tiny cell all day and eat food loafs. And you can always go outside for some rec time and take as many showers as you want.
Sounds like you're living the dream!
One other thing I do not think my students truly appreciate is a clean room. Many of them (despite my urgings) are waiting until the last day possible to clean their rooms.
Can it be done? Yes, Yes it can.
Can it be done in under an hour? Not to my standards!
If I check them out and the room is randomly selected to be checked for cleanliness AND part of it that I signed off on is dirty, guess who gets to go clean it? That's right! Swifty gets to put on the gloves and trade his gun for a bottle of 409 or Windex.
I have three more exams before I am done with school for my Junior year of college.
Thursday:
Honors Environmental Science
Correctional Systems
Friday:
Criminal Law
Lots of reading to do for Criminal Law, a little bit of reviewing for environmental science, and just looking at the index for correctional systems.
Sounds easy enough!
The super amazing girlfriend is already out of school for the semester, and I am really jealous because I wish I were back home with her instead of here cleaning and working on exams. But next week will be exciting because the two of us are going to take a road trip to Kansas for the week to visit my Grandparents. (Hmmmm, I think they need a blog name....) They will be referred to as the World Champion Grandparents. I am visiting my world champion grandparents in Kansas and cannot wait to get up there.
*Side note: As a little kid my world champion grandparents would always introduce us grandkids as world champion grandson or granddaughter. As a kid I always thought this was pretty cool to be thought of like that. Now that I am a criminal justice major I learn about this awesome thing called labeling theory. Basically it states that if you call someone something or label them as such eventually their attitudes and actions will work to fit that label. So I don't know if I am who I am because my grandparents said I was a world champion but I am sure it didn't hurt. I will have to remember that when/if I am a parent/grandparent/great-grandparent.... Mostly the first one.
Well that is all for tonight folks, remember May is Click it or Ticket Month. More officers are on the road looking for that magic seat belt. Have a great day!
-Swifty
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Summer Camp
Just a few more days until I am out of school and off to my summer job.
I am working at a Boy Scout camp again this summer teaching merit badges. I am excited about working in the national forest all summer!
Last Summer I worked teaching the merit badges Indian Lore and Woodcarving.
In my Indian Lore classes I had students write papers about what they learned.
One of my favorite essays was about the trail of tears:
Student:
"I likes how we talked about the trail of tears. They had a long hard hike. Many died and now are gowverment is having to pay for it."
Needless to say I am looking forward to the summer.
I am working at a Boy Scout camp again this summer teaching merit badges. I am excited about working in the national forest all summer!
Last Summer I worked teaching the merit badges Indian Lore and Woodcarving.
In my Indian Lore classes I had students write papers about what they learned.
One of my favorite essays was about the trail of tears:
Student:
"I likes how we talked about the trail of tears. They had a long hard hike. Many died and now are gowverment is having to pay for it."
Needless to say I am looking forward to the summer.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Keeping the wolves away from the sheep.
Last night my dorm had a foam party. If you don't know what a foam party is basically it is a dance but the whole area is supposed to be filled with soap suds. Soap suds like over your head. Naturally a dance in which everyone is in a swimsuit and is under soap suds needs chaperones. That is where Mr. Swifty Morgan comes in.
In the end it wasn't actually our residents that needed chaperoning as much as I had to keep the regular university students from entering our foam pit. My dorm is full of minors (under 18) and isn't necessarily the place you want to let a bunch of older college guys come party.
Throughout the night I had to ask about ten people to leave and only had to forcefully demand a departure from three of them.
The first guy came walking into the area from somewhere near the rec center and I had never seen him before. Not a big deal at first because with 300+ students there are quite a few that I haven't seen still. Anyway, I approach Mr.... we will call him Mr. Turban. Because yes... he was wearing some sort of odd headgear looking like a turban. (Another clue he wasn't one of our sheep) So I ask Mr. Turban "Hey are you a *My Department* student?
Mr. T : Yes I am.
Me: ok then.
I walked over to a PA and asked her if she had ever seen that student before. The obvious answer was NOPE!
So I walk back to Mr. T who is acting kinda weird and is all by himself.
Me "Hey, Who is your RA?"
Mr. T "What is an RA?"
Me "You're not a ****** student are you?"
Mr. T "Yes I am, I go to UNIVERSITY"
Me: What hall do you live in?
Mr. T "HALL NAME hall"
Me: ok, then you are not a ******** student because those students only live here in $$$$$$$$ hall.
Me again after Mr. T gives me dumb stare: "Do not tell me you are a ******* student when you don't even know what that is. You need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "I was confused I didn't know what was going on"
Me "Ok, well here is some advice, when people ask you a question and you do not understand the question do not lie to them. Now you need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "Well I didn't know who you are. Why do you get to tell me to leave?"
Me: "I am Swifty Morgan, I am an employee of ******* and am instructing you to leave the area right now and if you do not do so instantly UNIVERSITY POLICE will be more than happy to give you a ride out of here"
Mr. T then tried to say something that I did not understand because I pointed to the street and wished him a good evening.
The next folks that decided they were too good to be told to leave were these fellers:
For the sake of this blog let's call them tweedle dee and tweedle dum.
I saw that a PA was having a big long conversation with two guys sitting on a bench right outside the foam party and decided that maybe a bit more force would be needed to instruct some college students that it was in their best interest to leave.
Me: Hey guys, whats going on? Can I help you?
Dee: Yeah man, we are just sitting on this bench watching.
Me: Ok, you can't actually be here tonight, the park is closed.
Dee: Hey! I am a F$#*%(# UNIVERSITY STUDENT!!!
^ Yup, he said it. The mother of all dirty words! Time to wash that mouth out with soap mister!
Me: Ok cool. Is that important right now?
Dee: YEAH! I can sit in this park if I want! It is a public place!
Me: Actually you are wrong. This evening this park was reserved exclusively for the use of *My Department* and therefore it is no longer a public place, any other night you may reserve it though the university since you are obviously a student.
Dee: "Well we just wanted to watch!"
Me: Ok, you can't be here.
Dee: "What about the parking lot, did you reserve that too?" <-- Sarcastically
Me: Nope! (And with a great smile on my face as this is one line I have been waiting to use for many years at it was once used by Swifty Morgan's father) You see that curb? That is where the free world starts. (I bet he thought I was a jerk for smiling so big as I said that)
Dee: Ok fine!
So they marched off and as they were walking decided to kick one of our cinder blocks we were using. Super cool guys, hope your toes are ok, I know the cinder block is.
We still decided to call the police and when they saw us on the phone they took off pretty quick. I have no clue what became of them but am sure that some day my tax dollars will be supporting them somehow. I love America....
The wolves were successfully removed from the pen of sheep all night!
The only other issue I had was with my sheep...
At *My Department* we have a 'No PDA' policy, and a pretty strict one at that.
Now during dances we usually let the distance between bodies pretty much go to zero... except the mouths... that is one that we still enforce. So because I was RAOC and the chaperone I got the fun of using an air horn to let a few kissing couples know that it was not appreciated. It kinda kills the mood when you are pretty heavily kissing and an air horn goes off between you. Normally this would be a bid infraction with our points system, but the air horn embarrassment was enough tonight. EVERYONE noticed and got a good laugh at the surprise.
All in all it was a BUSY night but a fun one and hopefully the seniors had fun as this event was for them.
Congrats *My Department* Seniors 2011
In the end it wasn't actually our residents that needed chaperoning as much as I had to keep the regular university students from entering our foam pit. My dorm is full of minors (under 18) and isn't necessarily the place you want to let a bunch of older college guys come party.
Throughout the night I had to ask about ten people to leave and only had to forcefully demand a departure from three of them.
The first guy came walking into the area from somewhere near the rec center and I had never seen him before. Not a big deal at first because with 300+ students there are quite a few that I haven't seen still. Anyway, I approach Mr.... we will call him Mr. Turban. Because yes... he was wearing some sort of odd headgear looking like a turban. (Another clue he wasn't one of our sheep) So I ask Mr. Turban "Hey are you a *My Department* student?
Mr. T : Yes I am.
Me: ok then.
I walked over to a PA and asked her if she had ever seen that student before. The obvious answer was NOPE!
So I walk back to Mr. T who is acting kinda weird and is all by himself.
Me "Hey, Who is your RA?"
Mr. T "What is an RA?"
Me "You're not a ****** student are you?"
Mr. T "Yes I am, I go to UNIVERSITY"
Me: What hall do you live in?
Mr. T "HALL NAME hall"
Me: ok, then you are not a ******** student because those students only live here in $$$$$$$$ hall.
Me again after Mr. T gives me dumb stare: "Do not tell me you are a ******* student when you don't even know what that is. You need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "I was confused I didn't know what was going on"
Me "Ok, well here is some advice, when people ask you a question and you do not understand the question do not lie to them. Now you need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "Well I didn't know who you are. Why do you get to tell me to leave?"
Me: "I am Swifty Morgan, I am an employee of ******* and am instructing you to leave the area right now and if you do not do so instantly UNIVERSITY POLICE will be more than happy to give you a ride out of here"
Mr. T then tried to say something that I did not understand because I pointed to the street and wished him a good evening.
The next folks that decided they were too good to be told to leave were these fellers:
For the sake of this blog let's call them tweedle dee and tweedle dum.
I saw that a PA was having a big long conversation with two guys sitting on a bench right outside the foam party and decided that maybe a bit more force would be needed to instruct some college students that it was in their best interest to leave.
Me: Hey guys, whats going on? Can I help you?
Dee: Yeah man, we are just sitting on this bench watching.
Me: Ok, you can't actually be here tonight, the park is closed.
Dee: Hey! I am a F$#*%(# UNIVERSITY STUDENT!!!
^ Yup, he said it. The mother of all dirty words! Time to wash that mouth out with soap mister!
Me: Ok cool. Is that important right now?
Dee: YEAH! I can sit in this park if I want! It is a public place!
Me: Actually you are wrong. This evening this park was reserved exclusively for the use of *My Department* and therefore it is no longer a public place, any other night you may reserve it though the university since you are obviously a student.
Dee: "Well we just wanted to watch!"
Me: Ok, you can't be here.
Dee: "What about the parking lot, did you reserve that too?" <-- Sarcastically
Me: Nope! (And with a great smile on my face as this is one line I have been waiting to use for many years at it was once used by Swifty Morgan's father) You see that curb? That is where the free world starts. (I bet he thought I was a jerk for smiling so big as I said that)
Dee: Ok fine!
So they marched off and as they were walking decided to kick one of our cinder blocks we were using. Super cool guys, hope your toes are ok, I know the cinder block is.
We still decided to call the police and when they saw us on the phone they took off pretty quick. I have no clue what became of them but am sure that some day my tax dollars will be supporting them somehow. I love America....
The wolves were successfully removed from the pen of sheep all night!
The only other issue I had was with my sheep...
At *My Department* we have a 'No PDA' policy, and a pretty strict one at that.
Now during dances we usually let the distance between bodies pretty much go to zero... except the mouths... that is one that we still enforce. So because I was RAOC and the chaperone I got the fun of using an air horn to let a few kissing couples know that it was not appreciated. It kinda kills the mood when you are pretty heavily kissing and an air horn goes off between you. Normally this would be a bid infraction with our points system, but the air horn embarrassment was enough tonight. EVERYONE noticed and got a good laugh at the surprise.
All in all it was a BUSY night but a fun one and hopefully the seniors had fun as this event was for them.
Congrats *My Department* Seniors 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Bugs are scary!
So this is an incident I ran into about a week ago and decided it was worth telling:
The day is Thursday, the time is 11:30pm, well into our quiet hours.
Lately in my hall I have had a lot of noise late at night with several doors being slammed. So I warned my residents at Wednesday wing meeting that I would be cracking down on noise and doors as people are starting to study more for exams coming up in a few weeks.
Anyway at 11:30 one night I am sitting in my dorm minding my own business when I just hear screaming and yelling. This isn't the type of screaming and yelling when there is an emergency, this is screaming and yelling from fear! I throw on my shoes and bolt down the hall to figure out what the problem is.
I bang on the door and am told to come inside. What I find surprised even me. I found four boys in the room. Two of them on a bed, one of them in the corner and another by the door. They were all screaming! Why? A bug.
Me: Do you know what time it is? Why are you screaming?
Resident: Swifty Morgan look at that bug!!!!
Me: *looks at bug then back at residents* ok cool, why are you screaming?
Resident: That thing was flying around, we don't know what it is, and we think it may reproduce asexually.
I KID YOU NOT! My resident told me he thought the bug could reproduce asexually. I had to work so hard not to laugh.
Me: Ok cool. ID's please. You are all getting documented for noise violations at 11:30 pm.
Resident: But Swifty, did you see the bug?!?!?
Me: Yes, I did. Now I want to see the ID's.
I documented four residents for screaming at 11:30.
Am I mean? Maybe.
Did they earn that doc? Yes
Am I sorry? No. Screaming is stupid.
So I documented them and some of them may lose points if they have two other documentations for the same violation within the past thirty days. (I know some of them are getting close because I have documented them recently).
I returned their ID's and asked where the bug went and they told me it had gone under the bed.
I wished them a good night and advised them to take out their pizza boxes more often. (There were several of them under the bed, and this is the same room that the pizza box adventure was about earlier this semester)
Was the bug big? YES, it was about four inches long, and was flying around the room and landed on a wall when I walked in.
How are these guys ever going to get a girlfriend if they scream like girls when a bug moves about the room. Time for some maturity and a big shoe.
The day is Thursday, the time is 11:30pm, well into our quiet hours.
Lately in my hall I have had a lot of noise late at night with several doors being slammed. So I warned my residents at Wednesday wing meeting that I would be cracking down on noise and doors as people are starting to study more for exams coming up in a few weeks.
Anyway at 11:30 one night I am sitting in my dorm minding my own business when I just hear screaming and yelling. This isn't the type of screaming and yelling when there is an emergency, this is screaming and yelling from fear! I throw on my shoes and bolt down the hall to figure out what the problem is.
I bang on the door and am told to come inside. What I find surprised even me. I found four boys in the room. Two of them on a bed, one of them in the corner and another by the door. They were all screaming! Why? A bug.
Me: Do you know what time it is? Why are you screaming?
Resident: Swifty Morgan look at that bug!!!!
Me: *looks at bug then back at residents* ok cool, why are you screaming?
Resident: That thing was flying around, we don't know what it is, and we think it may reproduce asexually.
I KID YOU NOT! My resident told me he thought the bug could reproduce asexually. I had to work so hard not to laugh.
Me: Ok cool. ID's please. You are all getting documented for noise violations at 11:30 pm.
Resident: But Swifty, did you see the bug?!?!?
Me: Yes, I did. Now I want to see the ID's.
I documented four residents for screaming at 11:30.
Am I mean? Maybe.
Did they earn that doc? Yes
Am I sorry? No. Screaming is stupid.
So I documented them and some of them may lose points if they have two other documentations for the same violation within the past thirty days. (I know some of them are getting close because I have documented them recently).
I returned their ID's and asked where the bug went and they told me it had gone under the bed.
I wished them a good night and advised them to take out their pizza boxes more often. (There were several of them under the bed, and this is the same room that the pizza box adventure was about earlier this semester)
Was the bug big? YES, it was about four inches long, and was flying around the room and landed on a wall when I walked in.
How are these guys ever going to get a girlfriend if they scream like girls when a bug moves about the room. Time for some maturity and a big shoe.
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