Bugs are scary!

So this is an incident I ran into about a week ago and decided it was worth telling:

The day is Thursday, the time is 11:30pm, well into our quiet hours.
Lately in my hall I have had a lot of noise late at night with several doors being slammed. So I warned my residents at Wednesday wing meeting that I would be cracking down on noise and doors as people are starting to study more for exams coming up in a few weeks.

Anyway at 11:30 one night I am sitting in my dorm minding my own business when I just hear screaming and yelling. This isn't the type of screaming and yelling when there is an emergency, this is screaming and yelling from fear! I throw on my shoes and bolt down the hall to figure out what the problem is.

I bang on the door and am told to come inside. What I find surprised even me. I found four boys in the room. Two of them on a bed, one of them in the corner and another by the door. They were all screaming! Why? A bug.

Me: Do you know what time it is? Why are you screaming?

Resident: Swifty Morgan look at that bug!!!!

Me: *looks at bug then back at residents* ok cool, why are you screaming?

Resident: That thing was flying around, we don't know what it is, and we think it may reproduce asexually.

I KID YOU NOT! My resident told me he thought the bug could reproduce asexually. I had to work so hard not to laugh.

Me: Ok cool. ID's please. You are all getting documented for noise violations at 11:30 pm.

Resident: But Swifty, did you see the bug?!?!?

Me: Yes, I did. Now I want to see the ID's.

I documented four residents for screaming at 11:30.
Am I mean? Maybe.
Did they earn that doc? Yes
Am I sorry? No. Screaming is stupid.

So I documented them and some of them may lose points if they have two other documentations for the same violation within the past thirty days. (I know some of them are getting close because I have documented them recently).

I returned their ID's and asked where the bug went and they told me it had gone under the bed.
I wished them a good night and advised them to take out their pizza boxes more often. (There were several of them under the bed, and this is the same room that the pizza box adventure was about earlier this semester)

Was the bug big? YES, it was about four inches long, and was flying around the room and landed on a wall when I walked in.

How are these guys ever going to get a girlfriend if they scream like girls when a bug moves about the room. Time for some maturity and a big shoe.

Birthday Part 2

Today was Easter!
It was wonderful! The day started with a trip about 45 minutes from COLLEGE to CITY CHRISTIAN CHURCH. The super amazing girlfriend and I have been going to this church since August when school started. I love the church and feel very welcome. Anyway, we had a early service at 8:30 and then a breakfast. Went to Sunday School to get an education on Romans 5 and 6 at 9:30 and at 10:30 we went to the normal service.

Overall very wonderful church service.

I then took the super amazing girlfriend back to our hometown and we met with her family and cousins and aunts and uncles. It was great, I love meeting with all of them. They are all so fun to talk to. I talked cars and guns with the girlfriends grandfather and although Swifty Morgan is only twenty one they still enjoy talking to the 'younger' generation.

Even at twenty one I went Easter Egg hunting with all of the cousins. I believe there were nine of us total and according to the girlfriend I held my own fairly well in the competitive world of DOE family Easter egg hunts.

After this we went back to my house and met my parents for dessert. My parents had a present for me and one from my grandparents. I got a good fishing rod, with an excellent reel and lots of lures, bait, and other tackle. I cannot wait to go fishing now. I really enjoy fishing and want to go more often. Maybe land me a big bass and mount it on the wall or something.
Thank you Mom, Dad and Grandma and Grandpa for the fishing stuff. I CAN'T WAIT to use it!

Later in the evening the weather changed very quickly. Suddenly there was lots of lightning and thunder and the tornado alarms were being sound for my hometown and the town south of us. I took the super amazing girlfriend home so that her parents could take her back to her UNIVERSITY and I would head back to my COLLEGE. Loaded everything up and hit the road in my trusty old Ford Crown Victoria.
I have never driven though a fire hose before but I can imagine it feels somewhat like the storm I drove through today. The surprising part? I was so relaxed during this drive. The classic rock station was playing a block of The Eagles and that was what helped make it relaxing. Tequila sunrise is a great song to listen to on a long drive in a thunderstorm. Several traffic lights were out of commission and flashing red in all directions. The storm really did some pretty real damage. And it isn't over yet, as I type this I can still hear thunder and see some lightning. I love it. Storms are my favorite.

All in all today I can reflect on one thing. Having people around you that love you is one of the biggest blessings in the world. Today the super amazing girlfriend's mother made me a cake. Chocolate and coconut, she makes this cake every year and I love it. Does she have to make it? Absolutely not, I am not her kid. I have been dating her daughter 3 and a 1/2 years and this is my fourth birthday with her. I know people care when they make you a cake for your birthday every year. I have had so much cake this weekend it is going to kill me but it has been great. And all of the cousins and family sung happy birthday to me today. I am one who typically shies away from any sort of recognition. I honestly prefer to not be recognized for anything. I never tell people when my birthday is until afterwards because I don't want them to know. I don't want people to do anything for me. But people care too much to just ignore my birthday.
Even yesterday my grandparents called as I was leaving dinner and wished me a happy birthday, and I have gotten so many wall posts on facebook. Many from people I never even talk to anymore. Just goes to show you the power of people in my life.

Well now it is time for Swifty Morgan to enter RA mode and do room checks.

Adios!

Another day Another year

Well folks, Swifty Morgan has turned twenty-one.

That is one more that twenty, one less than twenty-two. And you all know what turning twenty-one means.......


Thats RIGHT!.....



Going to thrift shops, hanging bulletin boards at work, eating ice cream on the steps of the courthouse in torrential rains, attempting to light a candle on your own birthday cake and singing happy birthday as fast as you can because it is so windy?

Yeah, welcome to the wonderful life of Mr. Morgan.

The day started like many other days. I awoke. Simple enough right? Actually my birthday started before I woke up. I stayed up too late watching king of the hill on netflix.

So 7 am I woke up bright and early. Can't waste today right?
Nope, I couldn't wait to wake up so I could roll over and go back to sleep. Today is a big day.

At 9 am my super amazing girlfriend arrived to bring me breakfast because I was stuck in the building until 5 pm for work. McDonalds is a pretty good birthday breakfast.

We sat around and watched TV while eating and then later I had to drive a group of students to a destination about one hour away full of amusement and containing several flying cloths attached to poles... approximately six of them.

When I got back it was one o'clock and we walked over to Chicken Express for lunch. YUM.

After chicken express I found out that neither I nor the super amazing girlfriend are very good at ping pong. I might venture to say that I am slightly better but because I know she is reading this I will go ahead and tell the world she could whip me any day at ping pong. Happy dear?

Enough fun and games, time to do work. I had to hang a bulletin board in the hall so the girl and I went and did that and counted down the last 15 min until 5 o'clock. 5 o'clock in this case is similar to the word freedom. I could finally leave the hall.

The super amazing girlfriend was going to take me to see the movie True Grit, something I was looking forward to a LOT. But the theater had an error on the website and there was no westerns on the screen tonight. :(

So instead we went to a junk shop. That is the non-polite way of saying we went to Downtown mini-mall. This mall is full of junk. Old coke bottles, random old documents, several military surplus items, lots of made in china knives. Remember if the knife says made in china, you treat it like your china at home. FRAGILE!

After the mini mall we went to a used book/record store which was pretty neat. Then we went to go get dinner. I love me some BBQ. And only in UNKNOWN STATE can you find people eating BBQ and smoking right next to their friend who is on oxygen. People are crazy.

The next part of my night gets a little wet. The super amazing girlfriend took me to a wonderful ice cream place on the square. Yes my town is cooler than yours and actually has a square. Anyway we got our ice cream and the lightning was very intense and it started to rain so we ran and sat on the steps to the courthouse. It was very fun. The only thing missing was a Delorean and a crazy looking man trying to attach it to some wires before lightning struck the clock tower. I don't know why I thought that but my town's square looks very similar to the square from back to the future.

After ice cream we went to kroger to buy a cake. I got a slice of cake for two dollars and split it with my super amazing girlfriend. Tried to do the whole candle thing but that didn't work out so well. It is really windy. She still sang and we ate cake and watched a movie. Wonderful day!

Time to go to bed. 7 hours until the early Easter service. :)

Swifty Morgan beats a pizza box!

Swifty Morgan solves problems.

Today at my weekly wing meeting I noticed three pizza boxes in the recycle bin...
Pizza boxes cannot be recycled at UNIVERSITY.

This has been an ongoing issue this semester. And Domino's does not put the names of the purchaser on the box.

The pizza boxes were placed in the recycle bin because tonight is the final night of room cleanliness inspections. (Because cleanliness is next to Godliness and if the state says we cannot solely recognize God as an institution we can hit up the next best thing right?) If they have pizza box trash in their room, they get documented, and they gain points, 100 points and its game over.

What is Swifty Morgan to do?
I honestly had a SLIGHT idea about who put the pizza boxes in the bin, but only just slightly. However, the students don't know that.

So at wing meeting I made the following announcement:
"To the young man who put the pizza boxes in the recycle bin. I know exactly who you are. If the pizza boxes are still in the recycle bin by the time I get to your room WILL fail inspections, and you WILL be docked points for failure to comply with directions. You will also be singled out in front of your peers as the person who continues to place pizza boxes in the recycle bin after being told not to. You have until I make it to your room to remove them."

That was an ultimatum! Swifty Morgan stood looking at those pizza boxes and didn't back down! Now my recycle guy is happy and the guy who I thought put them in there did the right thing.
Did he do it out of fear? hopefully. Should it have come to that? No. He needed to do it because laziness is bad. And placing pizza boxes in the recycle instead of taking them outside is lazy.

What will Swifty Morgan and his sword of justice battle tomorrow?
World Hunger. Anyone who is hungry can gladly use my meal plan. The cafeteria food is horrible, you can have it all.

Cat and Mouse

Sometimes my residents like to live life on the edge. Push the limits a little bit and see what they can and cannot get away with...

In my unnamed dorm it is against policy to walk around without a shirt. For the girls floors this is a rule for obvious reasons but the guys with community bathrooms like to walk around without a shirt.

How did I work to curb this less than modest behavior?

Step one: Threaten to take your shirt off as well. Most residents think this would be an awful event and thus somehow seem to find a shirt right away.

Step two: Ask them to remember their shirt and inform them that the girl RA's and staff are fairly grossed out. Hopefully this will curb any desire to impress us, because if they are trying to impress the male staff on my floor we have other issues than walking around with no shirt on.

Step three: Inform them that they must now wear a shirt from this exact moment on or they will be documented.

Step four: The time to doc is always inconvenient. I think the residents plan it this way. They know when I am running late to a test and don't have much time to write out an information report. Let me tell you something, I have fingers of lightning, and a memory better than most. Lastly, I ENJOY writing reports, I get to write in third person and what not. Very fun stuff we are talking about here.

Here is an example of how I like to write my reports:

The most cunning and intelligent Resident Assistant Swifty Morgan attempted to shoot down three Russian fighter jets that were en route to UNNAMED RESIDENCE HALL with an anti-aircraft gun. At approximately 3:15pm the anti-aircraft gun jammed and RA Morgan effectively removed the three fighter jets with a yo-yo and a few crayola markers from UNNAMED airspace above UNNAMED hall.

Yeah folks, my reports are THAT COOL, and I NEVER exaggerate the story. Those planes were really Russian, not some Libyan nationalist wannabes.

Anyway, after I document you for no shirt, it would be unwise for you to walk around the hall shirtless. And when I see you and you run, I just laugh, mission accomplished, maybe now you realize that shirts are a good thing.

-Swifty Morgan

>Oh, and running is a doc too! ;)

Some people just like cows

Ever have a great day?

Really? ME TOO


So today I got to herd cattle. Most people might consider this 'work' however I consider it VERY FUN.

The day started with a drive about an hour from home over to a ranch that a friend of mine's grandparents own. Once there we got to drive around in our jeep wrangler on some back trails around the fields. That jeep is one awesome fun to drive vehicle but drinks gasoline like I was a rich Saudi oilman with my own refinery. The superhero sidekick girlfriend even likes the jeep! She said it was 'fun to drive' and she definately looks great driving it.

For lunch we had a picnic on top of a huge hill with a cross at the top that is visible from the interstate. Wonderful weather and a picnic at the foot of the cross was a perfect day.

After lunch we drove around exploring some more and then went back to the house and got recruited to fix 'The Kubota'. Now Kubota is a brand, and not a specific piece of machinery but if you are wondering what I was working on it looks very similar to the picture:



The operator had decided that it was time to take one a challenge most cows never overcome....
BARBED WIRE FENCES
So in a last stand of blazing glory and potential for eternal victory over what most cattle know as an impassable boundry the Kubota revved its thousand cc's with all its might to plow down that fence that stood in the way between normalcy and eternal recognition and dignity as the little kubota that could. It huffed and it puffed and it knocked that fence down!
I know it knocked it down because most of the fence was all caught up under the drivetrain.
So with what tools were available we went to work to fix the kubota for the ranch owner.

I heard that he ran over the fence on accident. I wasn't there, but I think my more dramatic story will suffice for now.

Ever hear the phrase 'When all you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail?'
Well for us it was 'When all you have is a hi-lift jack every problem looks too low'
or one that was most certainly true 'When all you have is a 5/8" socket everything is another size'

Anyway, finally got all the barbed wire out from under the kubota and found that it was time to herd cattle into the pen. In the movies people herd cattle from horseback, in 2011 people herd cattle from dodge trucks.

Lots of driving and honking but finally we got all those cows inside.

Overall a very fun day, we ate dinner at babes chicken dinner house which was great and made it home with light to spare.

-Swifty

Long time no see?

Ok, I need to apologize, it has been crazy long since I have posted on here. Almost one month.
That is almost 1/12th of the year.
Too long.

Many exciting stories to share, but school has really been kicked up a notch lately. More tests and quizzes.

So as some of you may know I got the privilege to go visit New York City recently.
It was an awesome experience to say the least.

The superhero sidekick girlfriend that has been mentioned in posts before was going to play in Carnegie hall, and well the girlfriend's Grandmother, (Superhero Grandma) took me along to see the sidekick girlfriend play in NYC!

Thank you!

Want to hear a cool story from NYC? Yeah I guess so.

I stopped a runaway subway full of children from exploding into the statue of liberty thus protecting the future of America by saving the children and a national landmark that stands for democracy, freedom, and being buddies with french folks.

Just kidding. My trip was much more exciting than that made up story.

NYC is like a whole different land. It is like a gigantic concrete canyon that you never leave.
And what they say about NYC never sleeping is totally true. I was on the 14th floor of the hotel I stayed in and could hear traffic all night long. After the first night you grow used to it, and it is sorta soothing.

One of the cool parts of NYC was the food.
Dollar hot dog man! He sells hot dogs... for a dollar. That is like Quick Trip price down here. Way to go hot dog salesman. Even in rising economic times George Washington can still be traded for a hot dog.

Ray's pizza was great too. I thought it was very interesting how the sausage was sliced like pepperoni is normally. Made for some great pizza. And I went to an Alfredo's pizza next door to the hotel. The 'white pie' was really good. For those of you like me who had never heard of a white pie before it is basically just a cheese pizza with no sauce. I have no clue what kind of cheese but we will just refer to it as good cheese. I think that the white pie would have been FANTASTIC as cold breakfast pizza.

Looking for a good date idea?

Want to really impress a girl in NYC? Take her to times square late at night in the rain. Makes for quite the romantic stroll. If you are feeling super adventurous stop by the hard rock cafe and get the potato skins, but you have to try the sour cream. Guys: if you have never had sour cream before it will impress your girl a lot to try new foods. Trust me. And sour cream on potato skins tastes great. Overall being in times square at midnight in the light rain was super awesome.

One more thing before I have to get back to homework:
Are you bored on the plane? Like to draw?

Tomorrow on this very blog here I will feature some airplane art from some very talented artists!

-Swifty