Live from your local High School

 Howdy,

It has been a while....

a long while....

Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Swifty Morgan. I am a high school AG teacher. I spend most of my time working on classroom work or FFA activities. (Future Farmers of America).

Most of the blog posts have been related to my job. (Prior to teaching).
Some would call me a wanderer, and in a sense they are correct. I do what I want to do as long as I stay interested. Maybe it is a short attention span, or maybe I just seek adventure and go where the adventure is.

Prior to becoming a high school teacher I worked for one of the 10 largest police forces in the United States. I was hired by the police force shortly after graduating college. I went through their police academy, broke my rib, and quit when I realized I would have to redo the entire academy.

Before graduating I worked at a University as a resident assistant in a program for high school students completing college course work.

That RA job was the first 'real' job that I got without knowing someone working in the same company.

The 'longest' job I have had has also been one of my favorites. I worked at a boy scout camp in Oklahoma as a merit badge instructor. I absolutely loved this job. For 10 weeks out of the year I would pack up and live in a bunkhouse in Oklahoma teaching scouts.

Speaking of Oklahoma I have a funny student story from work this week.
Many of my students know I frequent Oklahoma, and I happened to be talking to a student of mine about bloodlines, and mentioned I am part Cherokee.
My student, remembering that I go to Oklahoma, asked if my Oklahoma trips were related to my Indian blood. In her words 'you know, like going back to visit...' and without missing a beat I said 'yup, I travel back to the tribal lands as much as possible'.
I am sure my students now think I am a big time Cherokee tribal member, but that is because they ask goofy questions.


I do love my job. Occasionally after the good weeks I see that there is money in my bank account and remember that someone pays me to do what I do.

Welcome back to The Life and Times of Swifty Morgan,

I promise to update more!

Are in-service days a day off?

When I was in school I never felt bad that teachers had to work on days like Columbus day. I figured school was pretty easy without all the kids around, so why feel sorry for them?

Now that I am a teacher I have a slightly different opinion. Let me share it with you.

8:30 am. I arrived at school to attend a PSAT proctor meeting. Lucky me, I get to proctor the PSAT test on Wednesday. I teach on Wednesday. I have no idea where my normal kids will go. I guess those 22 freshmen I have at 8:15 am will just find something to do.

9:00 am I went to the school wide meeting about home language surveys and other stuff for the Spanish kids. I learned how to fill out forms I will never use and what to do on certain committees I will never serve on.

10:00 am, the meeting begins to discuss 'Heat Maps' or some other way of telling what STAAR test objectives the kids can't do. I don't do STAAR or EOC testing so this is another class I just sit in the back and listen to.

11:00 am, finally I go to my office where on the main line we have a voicemail from a parent who is upset and wants to meet. Decide to go check on AG Barn to make sure nothing is horribly wrong before talking to parent and getting broadsided by something that happened over the weekend. I get to the barn and find one pen flooded by water. Could tell upset parent to fix it themselves, but another teacher and I tuck the jeans in the boots and get all muddy and smell like hogs fixing the pen.

12:00 pm. The one great thing about in-service day is getting to actually sit down and eat. Fajita Enchiladas for lunch made the day that much better.

1:00 pm Got back to school and set up rat traps to kill the rats that chewed through our acetylene torch hoses.

2:00pm In another meeting where I am told I will spend 2 days with my kids to help them fill out paperwork to pick a CTE career path in high school.

4:00pm Finally I get to sit in my office and work on my stuff.

5:00pm Back out at the AG barn to update a pen assignment chart. While I am there a student tells me a pig has its head stuck in a fence. I go over to help it and it wont budge. I turn to go get soap to try to free it and hit my face hard on a metal pipe. Face is bleeding and jaw is in a lot of pain so I awkwardly ask the student to see if I cracked any teeth or where the blood was coming from. Blood was from face not mouth which was good. Finally found a hacksaw to cut part of the bull panel fence. As soon as I put the hacksaw to the fence the pig did some weird twist and gets unstuck.

6:00pm Went to the grocery store to buy food for the week, found someones wallet in my cart and drove it to their house after buying food.

7:00pm Home! Time to eat, pull out the computer, and start filling out paperwork.....


I think I will be looking forward to when the students come back and people just let me teach.
:)

Oh the joys of an AG teacher.

9/11 at school

Today is September 11th 2013. The twelfth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. As many of you know, I am a high school teacher. Many of my friends ask if I was going to talk about 9/11 with my classes today. I told them all NO. I said that 9/11 happened 12 years ago. Many of my students were 1-4 years old at the time and wouldn't remember it anyway. I told them that if we all spend a day remembering 9/11 then the people that work every day to disrupt American life have won, our students waste a day of class discussing 9/11. It is something that should be done in history classes. Not the agriculture classes Mr. Swifty Morgan teaches.

Then I went to school and got to thinking.

My students hear the same stories from adults about what happened that day, but they never get to hear what it was like as a sixth grader.

I told my class that I was in sixth grade in September of 2001, and that my sixth grade teacher got a phone call that something 'bad had happened'. So we turned on the TV. My teacher calmly explained that the smoke from the first tower was likely a bomb set off by terrorists. When the sixth grade mind (in 2001) hears the word terrorist, they have no idea what that means. So my quick on her feet sixth grade teacher told us that sometimes when a new president takes office people go out and create problems to test him. They make bad things happen to see how he will respond.

Then the second plane hit and our teacher turned it off and told us that we needed to get back to work. About that time I went to the gifted and talented room where we proceeded to leave the TV on the news all day long.

By 2:45 when I left school I had seen everything live. 2nd plane crash, towers collapse, everything.

What I was able to share with my students was the things I saw and how it felt to be a kid at that time in American history.

I talked about how the sky was silent. Growing up near an international airport and suddenly hearing no planes was quite noticeable. I emphasized that ALL air traffic was stopped.

I also talked about remembering that America seemed to be a much more God fearing country than it was today. The evening of the 11th some important leaders stood on the steps of the capitol and sang 'God bless America'. This was on live TV! I feel that today this would never be broadcasted or even sang.

I talked about how for MONTHS after the attack most vacant billboards, and those signs businesses have to advertise specials all said 'God Bless America'. I talked about how in the year after 9/11 it was a different America. People prayed in schools, people valued family more, people felt the loss and clung to what was good. Today at my school, the principal forgot the moment of silence. (We have one every day).

I talked to my students about how in the months after 9/11 our government appeared to function much more efficiently and how we should all be embarrassed that it takes such a large tragedy to get over the left wing and right wing differences.

I told my students that many people today still suffer from the effects of 9/11, but emotionally and physically. Many police officers and firemen who were not killed at the scene, but worked ground zero have developed cancers and are rapidly dying due to the chemicals and fumes they exposed themselves to in the attempt to save lives.

One of my students asked me to talk about the New World Order and their involvement in the events. I told him that today was about remembering the victims and that he should avoid falling prey to the many smooth talking you-tube videos and radio hosts that claim 9/11 was staged or planned by our leaders.

One of my students then asked if I thought Bush did a good job with it. I told him yes. I told him that all of our country did a great job responding to 9/11. I told him that when I visited ground zero in January 2011, it was so much more real to me after seeing the new construction and the memorials. NYC was not just some far away place on TV, but I had walked the streets where people were running away from falling buildings, where firemen sat and cried knowing their best friends were killed as the building was falling. I told him our country showed great restraint by not unleashing a hell of firepower upon the people that caused this. We could have completely destroyed entire countries harboring terrorists. Instead we chose the more difficult and costly task of fighting the terrorists and not the innocent people. I told him to remember that it was not the country of Iraq or Afghanistan that attacked us, but a select group of people within those countries, and we are still a country at war. Never forget we STILL have boots on the ground, actively fighting the war on terror.

Then the bell rang.

A New Chapter in Life

Howdy!

As many of you know my life has changed a lot in the last year.
Since graduation at UNT I became a police officer, then decided I didn't like the 'big city' of Dallas or the thought of spending my working life away from family, working nights, dealing with crackheads, dealing with pessimistic and dishonest officers (just google search 'Dallas officer fired' and you will get PLENTY of examples), and working for ''the man''. So I threw in the towel. Swifty Morgan was only 22 years old and was already counting down the days to pension plan vesting. What a lame way to live. So the plan was to stick around with DPD until May. Then go work for my favorite Boy Scout camp in Oklahoma, and start obtaining my teacher certification in August so that I could potentially be in the classroom starting August 2014. But, just when I had all the dates worked out God had a different plan. And that plan was good!

In December I sustained a broken rib due to a training exercise with one of those over-zealous, 'just here to fight people', unable to follow instructions, type recruits. He was going 100% in a hand to hand combat exercise and broke my rib with his poor technique. I was ineligible to work out or participate in any academy training. It was only a matter of a week or two before I would miss training that could not be made up. This would cause me to be 'recycled' and have to either start the academy over or at least stay in an extra 12 weeks. At this point I began contacting Texas A&M commerce and was accepted into their program starting in January!  What a blessing! I then stuck around in the academy for another week or two. I remember planning my last day for the day we went back to the shooting range. Why? Because I love getting paid to shoot guns :) Let me state that again, and I don't mean to brag, but I LOVE to shoot guns, and getting paid to shoot my Sig P226 (approximately 150 rounds) is worth sticking around a few days for.

So I left the academy, and was promptly enrolled in school. I took several agriculture classes in the spring while working at home depot. I have PLENTY of home depot stories, but that is for some other time :p

In May I went back to work for the Boy Scouts teaching Welding Merit Badge and Hale Scout Reservation. One weekend I drove back to A&M Commerce and took the content portion of my teacher certification. A few weeks later I got the results. PASS!
That meant I could start applying for teaching jobs.

I applied every day for teaching jobs. Every waking moment I had at camp was spent working or applying for jobs.Camp ended and I went to Kansas to visit my Grandparents at ''Camp Grandma". While preparing to go fishing I got a call from one of the districts I had previously talked to, they told me that they were in need of a 5th AG teacher! They passed on me for their 4th teacher, but I was told on Friday to be in Elgin on Monday. So I drove back to Texas quick! On Monday I drove down to Elgin. I remember thinking the whole way down there how much I loved the scenery and could see myself living there. I interviewed with the two assistant principals. Afterwards, one of them came out and told me I did an excellent job! I had such a great time in the interview and really liked the campus and town. I kept praying that Elgin would call me before Wednesday because I had an interview in Levelland TX, (West of Lubbock) and they started teacher development on Thursday. I really did not want to live west of Lubbock, but if that's what it took to get a job I would do it.

Fortunately Elgin called on Tuesday and told me to come back on Thursday to fill out paperwork!

A week and a half later I moved to Elgin and started training on the 13th of August. 13 days later school started. And as I write this I have finished my first two weeks of teaching!

I love my job. I love the town. I love the school. I am so blessed to have this opportunity.

Now for the part of this post you have been waiting for:
The on-the-job stories!

Just yesterday I was teaching my Principles of Agriculture course. I was having students get on the computer to develop a powerpoint timeline of Agriculture in a certain decade. One student cried out 'Mr. Swifty Morgan!, what is this picture of?!?' I walked over to the student, she was looking at a picture of a man standing next to a large pile of lettuce. I told her that was just a man next to a bunch of vegetables. She shrieked out and said that was gross! I asked if she ever ate lettuce or vegetables. She got a discusted look on her face and said 'NO! That junk come from the ground! It's all dirty!'' It was almost hard not to laugh out loud. OF COURSE vegetables come from the ground, but she didn't want to eat them because they were grown. I wanted to ask her if she ate beef or hamburgers and how she thought that ground beef was 'created' but as a profession I felt I should refrain from doing so.

I had a student the other day that went nuts during my class. In my wildlife management course I showed a video about dove hunting on the Friday before dove season. I had a student exclaim that she couldn't watch a video about dove hunting because she was a vegetarian! Heaven forbid a vegetarian have to watch someone shoot and clean a dove. A little background on the student, she has super short dyed hair, and is.. well the best way to put it, she lives an 'alternative' lifestyle. So what I really wanted to tell her was that she should be more open minded to different cultures and believes. Tell her that people respected and did not judge her for her 'lifestyle' but instead I told her she could go to the back of the room and write about what she had learned thus far in the course. She refused and decided to play on her phone. I took her phone away and told her to come get it back from me in my office. She threw a fit but eventually left after the class. During the next period she came back and wanted to get her phone during 7th period. I had her read the note I gave her asking her to retrieve it after school. She started swearing and walked off. When she finally came to my office I gave her the iPhone back as well as a schedule change form. I told her that her personal believes may conflict with the course and that she should probably seek a course that better aligns with her educational 'goals'. She was out of the course by Monday.

I hate pawning a student off to some other teacher, but hopefully the student will enjoy small engine repair more than wildlife.

 -- More on my life outside teaching --

Today I rode my bicycle to a nearby town to look at a bridge. That's right. I rode almost 21 miles to look at a bridge. I also need the exercise, but hey, I wanted to see this bridge.

I live near the bridge from a scene in secondhand lions. When the kids jumps out of the car at the end of the movie and tells his mom she should do something for him, that was filmed in Coupland Texas. I road my bicycle down many dirt roads to get to this old steel bridge.
Here are some pictures from my trip:

 I started my trip to scattered showers.

 Shortly after I got a good picture of a rainbow near an old barn.

 Then the sky looked like this to the west. What a great view. I really hope someday when I get to heaven God will give me a few lessons in how he creates this art.

 Cows in a field, with a rainbow, I had to take a picture.

 Panorama from an iPhone.

 Cattle, Rainbow, and White birds in a dark sky.

 This is the bridge I rode so far to see.

 I think this is the right angle like the movie. This is the bridge from Secondhand lions. Specifically the part where the kid jumps from the car and tells his mom to leave him with the two old me.

 It is a pretty cool bridge.

Finally on my way back the sunset was beautiful. This is looking towards Round Rock/ Georgetown Texas from the area between Coupland and Elgin.


I love my new home and can't wait to have more adventures.

Long time, no posts.

I need to get back to posting stories on this blog. I am in front of kids 6.5 hours per day. They say and do the goofiest things.

Expect something soon!
-Swifty

Swifty Morgan asks his favorite cowgirl to become his wife.

Well....
Lots has changed since I used to blog about high school kids doing goofy things in the college world. I haven't really blogged much last fall, so let me fill you in exactly where I am in life. Sit back, pop some popcorn, and enjoy.

I graduated North Texas in May of 2012. Went to Oklahoma for a little bit, left for what I thought was to be my dream career. Stuck with it for 1/2 a year, got tasered, maced, had my rib broken by an overly aggressive odd fellow from California, and realized. I am 22 years old. Under no circumstances did I want anything to do with this career for my life. So I said "Adios!" and went back to school to pursue something I really believe I have been called to do for quite some time now. I suppose it just helps if you listen. Anyway, more on that in later blog posts.

So I realized I've been hangin' out with this cute gal for five and a half years. I figured I should probably start a' thinkin' about making her Mrs. Swifty Morgan. Figured it was time to get engaged, figured maybe it was time to settle down... quit roaming the west goin' adventuring. What am I talking about, she goes adventuring with me!

So as many of you know, Swifty Morgan is one of the biggest pranksters, most ornery folks you've ever met. I couldn't just flat out ask her! I had to surprise her, and big time. Unfortunately for me she knows me to be one of the most ornery folks she has ever met and fully expected this to be a surprise.

So I set my little pea-brain to work a thinkin', dangerous I know, and came up with a scheme. I took her out to several things and on lots of dates in the 3-4 days leading up to the day I asked her. I also played it up that I was some idiot (wasn't hard) who didn't know a thing about rings or engagements or anything! So I had this girl convinced that we were going to go looking at rocks. Most people call that prospecting, but I guess in civilized company it is 'ring shopping'.... ugh, a downright scary process.

Little did she know, I already had this all picked out. ;)

So on the 'big' day that we were going to go shopping I let her know about an hour before that a new geocache had popped up in the area and I HAD to be the first to find it!

For those of you who don't know what geocaching is visit www.geocaching.com or read the boy scout merit badge guide for the activity.

So we went a hunting..... HEY LOOK! WHAT'S THAT PIPE??

 I don't know! This must be it! open it up!

 Oh my! Inside the log is a ring? Wait what? Will I marry you?? YES!!!

 Mission complete!

So Swifty pulled off a good one on her. She didn't expect it at all!

Here is her ring next to the promise ring I gave her several years ago. I hand made that promise ring out of a silver quarter.

And afterwards, just as a joke, I took her to get some ice cream... Why? Her Mom told her she would never get a boyfriend because she used to be a messy ice cream eater, but what kid didn't?
Guess her Mom was wrong about that one!

Hope you enjoyed the pictures! Stay tuned for more!


Oh, and my old Phoenix teacher would be proud, I proposed in Walden Park, at the corner of Thoreau Lane and Emerson Dr. and remembered who those folks are!

That was quick.

Well, the semester is 1.5 weeks from being over. And fortunately for me, this is my LAST semester in college. Unfortunately there have been almost 0 stories from my work this semester. Sorry to disappoint y'all. I didn't try to create any action either. My wing of seniors has been so drama free. This weekend is checkout weekend so hopefully there will be SOMETHING interesting. Last year I spent 4 hours checking out one room because the students didn't understand that it was NOT OK to have mold on their toilet and visible dust on every other surface. Frustrating to say the least.

Stay tuned, I start scout camp in 2 weeks. And working with 5th graders - seniors in high school will provide ample stories. Scoutmasters may also provide copious amounts of entertainment.

Exams next week, here we come!

Back in action!

Alright folks, Swifty Morgan is back in action!
School started yesterday and so far a few exciting things have happened.
This semester is my last semester here at work/school and I am loving it. 12 hours of classes and no class on Monday or Friday. Can life as a Senior be any better? I think not!

So I guess you probably want to hear a funny work related story? Yes? Ok, well first I am going to tell a serious work related story.
As you know I have 42 Senior Guys on my wing. Not 1 of them left over Christmas break. That is pretty cool, also only 7 doc's were given to those 42 guys. That is super low, and I have the student with the most community service hours on my wing. Oh yeah!

So now a funny story?  Ok :)
So we got a new RA over the break for the other senior guys. Well one of the senior guys was telling the his friend out in the parking lot that he met the new RA, well his friend didn't really believe him and that is when I walked up.

'Swifty, Jake keeps telling me about this new RA we have. Is it true?'

Me: 'Jake, what are you talking about?'
Jake: 'The new RA, I already met him'
Me: 'What new RA? You didn't get a new RA. Greg is still your RA'
Friend 'Jake you liar....'
Jake 'Well then who was it that I talked to that told me he was the new RA?'
Me:  'haha probably just some maintenance guy in the building trying to be funny.'
Jake 'Wow, he really was convincing! Oh well, we will see Greg tonight'

So I was able to successfully get him to think that he didn't really have a new RA, he does have a new RA and the new RA is fitting in great here at work.

It is only the first week so hopefully students will start doing more exciting things soon!

-Swifty

The life and times of Swifty Morgan

Well, the life and times of Swifty Morgan haven't changed too much. I haven't had any good work stories to blog about recently. I'll have to stir something up to make some new adventures.
Until then... adios!

"That didn't go over as well as I thought it would"

I don't write this blog folks, it writes itself. That's right. I just transcribe actual events onto the internet:
The following took place this last Monday in my English class in college.

It was another somewhat entertaining day in English today as we were talking about ancient rhetorics and how they can be found in the writings of today. My teacher was busy using the overhead projector computer display to search for proverbs on the internet. Not proverbs like the book of proverbs in the Bible, you don't need to look for it, you should know where that is, in the Bible. Anyway, she was looking for those catchy little sayings like 'An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure', 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away' and so on and so forth. Well a kid in my class all of a sudden just jolted up and said "I HAVE A GOOD RELIGIOUS PROVERB! CAN I GOOGLE IT?!"....
This guy totally interrupted the teachers train of thought and took the entire class off guard.
"Well, um, ok, I guess so" said my teacher rather flustered.
By the time she got to the um the boy had already jumped from his seat and was a few strides away from the computer.

He quickly got to the google website and this is where things got interesting.
The kid clicked on google images. As most people know you NEVER do a LIVE google images search in front of a class. No matter what you type in there is always something awkward that will appear on screen and embarrass you. This kid didn't know that....
He  typed in "Odin ice giant" into the search bar and clicked the search button with the same great enthusiasm that he started with.

This was the picture he clicked on:

A rather interesting proverb indeed. In case the link breaks with the picture the quote says 'Jesus promised the end of all wicked people. Odin promised the end of all ice giants. I don't see many ice giants around'

I have no idea how this is a proverb.
To make it better the kid turned and looked at the class with this huge "I AM AWESOME" grin.
Nobody said anything or laughed at all.
Next he said "Well that didn't go over like I thought it would"

This statement got many more laughs than did his funny picture. I kinda felt bad for the kid but hey, this is college now, you can't do this kind of nonsense and expect people to always laugh to be nice.

The teacher continued by saying 'Well, um, cool" and then going back to her google search.

Just another day in Swifty Morgan's neighborhood.

Yes, it is okay to talk to girls.

Here in my dorm we have a tornado drill at the beginning of each semester. The noise is insanely loud and goes on and on for several minutes. Basically on my guys wing the 2 wings above us drop down into our hallway and sit in our hall. My guys get to chill in their bathrooms because the bathrooms are not on the exterior part of the building. The wing above us is girls and they come sit in the hallway during the drill. And after the tornado drill I had the funniest conversation with a student.
Me: Congrats, you guys survived the tornado, any questions about the procedures?
Student: "yeah, so we just go in the bathroom?"
Me: Yup you just go in the bathroom, it is great because it is probably quieter in the bathroom and also not as crowded as the hall way.
Student: Who comes to our wing anyway?
Me: A mix of seniors, both boys and girls.
Student: So senior girls come down here?
Me: Yes...
Student: So....
Me: Are you asking if it is okay for you to go outside and sit by the senior girls?
Student: I guess so.
Me: Yes, if you want to meet girls during a tornado be my guest.

Only time will tell if sitting by girls during tornado drills can get you a date.

Work Orders

So I am back at work and all of my residents are moved in, that means lots of work orders to be turned in for things that don't work in their rooms.
Here is one work order I wrote up today:

Toilet in resident room has a low flow issue. Upon initiation of flush procedure by activation of toilet flush lever the toilet fails to dispense an appropriate amount of fluids to complete the flushing action. Current toilet status requires resident to flush multiple times in rapid succession to complete flushing process.

The form online said to be detailed and describe the problem. task completed.

Look forward to more updates.

I'm BACK!

Swifty Morgan is BACK.

I just got back from nine weeks of boy scout camp out at hale scout reservation in Talihina Oklahoma.
These are a few of the great stories from this summer:

Werewolf Boy:
One week out at camp we sent a kid home because he thought he was a werewolf. That's right. A werewolf. This kid would run around and try to bite other campers and was constantly talking about the full moon. I do not know what would possess a twelve year old kid to honestly think he was a werewolf, but this kid did. The full moon happened to be the day after this kid got sent home. Maybe someone at camp was afraid something bad would happen on the full moon and this kid would go crazy. I really don't know how this kid survives but it will be funny someday when he is a parent and has kids and gets to explain that he got kicked out of boy scout camp for acting and honestly believing he was a werewolf. Come to think of it this will be a great story for his parents to tell his first girlfriend. Hopefully she finds it funny and embarrassing and is not into werewolves. On second thought, I hope this kid doesn't have kids. They might believe they are the loch ness monster or something absurd.



More to follow tomorrow!

Some people pay a lot to look cool....

So today I was at the local Academy Sports and Outdoors retailer, you know... the one that has the right stuff at the right price?
I was here a few days ago to visit the fishing department and the storefront looked normal, upon my return today it looked like a bomb of Dallas Mavericks Championship gear exploded in the entrance. I could not believe how quickly companies had produced these apparel items. Then I realized that these were probably made BEFORE the Dallas Mavericks even won the series which would lead me to believe that sitting somewhere in a warehouse is a huge lot of Oklahoma City Thunder apparel. What is going to happen to these shirts and hats? Probably they will be donated or sold dirt cheap to the poor in foreign countries. I remember when I was in youth group and we used to go down to Mexico every year to build houses, (Back when people were not scared of drug lords and machine guns), I would always see people wearing lots of sports clothing for teams in the USA. I now believe that most of this is donated. Maybe all those children in Juarez really do love the Denver Broncos but my guess goes with the corporate donation.
I know when civilians donate items they get to deduct so much from their taxes... well I would bet that corporations that donate shirts and hats for teams that didn't perform get to donate those as well.
At academy a basic Mavericks t-shirt will run you about 20 dollars.... lets say that it cost 6 dollars to manufacture and ship that shirt in bulk.
The company has to pay for an OKC Thunder shirt to be made too so that bumps up production costs to 12 dollars a shirt.
That 12 dollar shirt now gets sold for 20 which puts 8 dollars in profit into the store and/or manufacturer.
But now the producer has a bunch of OKC Thunder shirts that are wrong... what to do?
I would guess that they donate these shirts, write them off at a cost of production value and deduct that from their taxes.
Lets say the deduction rate is a dollar deducted for a dollar donated.
Now they have earned 14 dollars per shirt based on the 6 dollar production cost making it worthwhile to print shirts for both outcomes because no matter who wins you will make the money of the lost shirts back.

Lesson learned? I need to get into the sports apparel business.

Kayak + More!

Swifty Morgan became a seafaring captain yesterday.

I took two kayaks out to the lake yesterday evening. It was so much fun!
The super awesome girlfriend and I used to go to the lake all the time just to sit and watch the water. Last night we figured out the last time we went to go watch the water must have been about a year ago before I went to camp last summer. But the girlfriend and I had a great time just paddling around.
And if one of my coworkers is reading this: yesterday, I was captain of my ship.

Today I have a lot of cleaning and packing to do before I go to camp on Sunday.

-Swifty

First Page of the Last Chapter

So Swifty Morgan is now a senior in college.
3 years down, 1 to go!

This new blogger format is driving me nuts, for some reason it doesn't like the enter button. oh well.

This summer I will be working at Camp Tom Hale. A Boy Scout camp. <--- That IS the real name. Now you know where Swifty Morgan will be. I will be working in scoutcraft somewhere and teaching merit badges. Access to a computer will be limited so blog posts will be saved and posted mostly on the weekends.

I depart for camp on the 29th and will spend 9 weeks in the wilderness. The wilderness is a great time to write, I really like it out there. The middle of the Ouachita national forest is a great place to relax and write.

My RA job is done for the spring and I can't wait to get back to it in the fall, I already miss COLLEGE TOWN and my RA coworkers.

-Swifty

Time to start turning off the machine.

Some say it takes a fully loaded freight train a real long time to come to a complete stop. Think about it, the average freight train (90-120 cars) takes 18 football fields to come to a complete stop under emergency conditions. Under non-emergency conditions it takes a LONG TIME. Well that is how work and school is going now. We are still chugging along but slowly deaccelerating. Each week the throttle gets pulled back just a little bit.

This week quiet hours were extended to all but 1 hour per day. Yup 23 hour a day quiet hours... anyone want to guess where else in the world this system of 23 hour restraint takes place?

That's right!
Super-Max Prisons.

Only in my dorm I don't force you to stay in a tiny cell all day and eat food loafs. And you can always go outside for some rec time and take as many showers as you want.

Sounds like you're living the dream!


One other thing I do not think my students truly appreciate is a clean room. Many of them (despite my urgings) are waiting until the last day possible to clean their rooms.

Can it be done? Yes, Yes it can.
Can it be done in under an hour? Not to my standards!

If I check them out and the room is randomly selected to be checked for cleanliness AND part of it that I signed off on is dirty, guess who gets to go clean it? That's right! Swifty gets to put on the gloves and trade his gun for a bottle of 409 or Windex.

I have three more exams before I am done with school for my Junior year of college.
Thursday:
Honors Environmental Science
Correctional Systems

Friday:
Criminal Law

Lots of reading to do for Criminal Law, a little bit of reviewing for environmental science, and just looking at the index for correctional systems.

Sounds easy enough!


The super amazing girlfriend is already out of school for the semester, and I am really jealous because I wish I were back home with her instead of here cleaning and working on exams. But next week will be exciting because the two of us are going to take a road trip to Kansas for the week to visit my Grandparents. (Hmmmm, I think they need a blog name....) They will be referred to as the World Champion Grandparents. I am visiting my world champion grandparents in Kansas and cannot wait to get up there.

*Side note: As a little kid my world champion grandparents would always introduce us grandkids as world champion grandson or granddaughter. As a kid I always thought this was pretty cool to be thought of like that. Now that I am a criminal justice major I learn about this awesome thing called labeling theory. Basically it states that if you call someone something or label them as such eventually their attitudes and actions will work to fit that label. So I don't know if I am who I am because my grandparents said I was a world champion but I am sure it didn't hurt. I will have to remember that when/if I am a parent/grandparent/great-grandparent.... Mostly the first one.

Well that is all for tonight folks, remember May is Click it or Ticket Month. More officers are on the road looking for that magic seat belt. Have a great day!

-Swifty

Summer Camp

Just a few more days until I am out of school and off to my summer job.
I am working at a Boy Scout camp again this summer teaching merit badges. I am excited about working in the national forest all summer!

Last Summer I worked teaching the merit badges Indian Lore and Woodcarving.

In my Indian Lore classes I had students write papers about what they learned.
One of my favorite essays was about the trail of tears:

Student:
"I likes how we talked about the trail of tears. They had a long hard hike. Many died and now are gowverment is having to pay for it."

Needless to say I am looking forward to the summer.

Keeping the wolves away from the sheep.

Last night my dorm had a foam party. If you don't know what a foam party is basically it is a dance but the whole area is supposed to be filled with soap suds. Soap suds like over your head. Naturally a dance in which everyone is in a swimsuit and is under soap suds needs chaperones. That is where Mr. Swifty Morgan comes in.

In the end it wasn't actually our residents that needed chaperoning as much as I had to keep the regular university students from entering our foam pit. My dorm is full of minors (under 18) and isn't necessarily the place you want to let a bunch of older college guys come party.

Throughout the night I had to ask about ten people to leave and only had to forcefully demand a departure from three of them.

The first guy came walking into the area from somewhere near the rec center and I had never seen him before. Not a big deal at first because with 300+ students there are quite a few that I haven't seen still. Anyway, I approach Mr.... we will call him Mr. Turban. Because yes... he was wearing some sort of odd headgear looking like a turban. (Another clue he wasn't one of our sheep) So I ask Mr. Turban "Hey are you a *My Department* student?

Mr. T : Yes I am.
Me: ok then.

I walked over to a PA and asked her if she had ever seen that student before. The obvious answer was NOPE!

So I walk back to Mr. T who is acting kinda weird and is all by himself.

Me "Hey, Who is your RA?"
Mr. T "What is an RA?"
Me "You're not a ****** student are you?"
Mr. T "Yes I am, I go to UNIVERSITY"
Me: What hall do you live in?
Mr. T "HALL NAME hall"
Me: ok, then you are not a ******** student because those students only live here in $$$$$$$$ hall.
Me again after Mr. T gives me dumb stare: "Do not tell me you are a ******* student when you don't even know what that is. You need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "I was confused I didn't know what was going on"
Me "Ok, well here is some advice, when people ask you a question and you do not understand the question do not lie to them. Now you need to leave right now"
Mr. T: "Well I didn't know who you are. Why do you get to tell me to leave?"
Me: "I am Swifty Morgan, I am an employee of ******* and am instructing you to leave the area right now and if you do not do so instantly UNIVERSITY POLICE will be more than happy to give you a ride out of here"
Mr. T then tried to say something that I did not understand because I pointed to the street and wished him a good evening.

The next folks that decided they were too good to be told to leave were these fellers:
For the sake of this blog let's call them tweedle dee and tweedle dum.
I saw that a PA was having a big long conversation with two guys sitting on a bench right outside the foam party and decided that maybe a bit more force would be needed to instruct some college students that it was in their best interest to leave.

Me: Hey guys, whats going on? Can I help you?
Dee: Yeah man, we are just sitting on this bench watching.
Me: Ok, you can't actually be here tonight, the park is closed.
Dee: Hey! I am a F$#*%(# UNIVERSITY STUDENT!!!
^ Yup, he said it. The mother of all dirty words! Time to wash that mouth out with soap mister!
Me: Ok cool. Is that important right now?
Dee: YEAH! I can sit in this park if I want! It is a public place!
Me: Actually you are wrong. This evening this park was reserved exclusively for the use of *My Department* and therefore it is no longer a public place, any other night you may reserve it though the university since you are obviously a student.
Dee: "Well we just wanted to watch!"
Me: Ok, you can't be here.
Dee: "What about the parking lot, did you reserve that too?" <-- Sarcastically
Me: Nope! (And with a great smile on my face as this is one line I have been waiting to use for many years at it was once used by Swifty Morgan's father) You see that curb? That is where the free world starts. (I bet he thought I was a jerk for smiling so big as I said that)
Dee: Ok fine!

So they marched off and as they were walking decided to kick one of our cinder blocks we were using. Super cool guys, hope your toes are ok, I know the cinder block is.

We still decided to call the police and when they saw us on the phone they took off pretty quick. I have no clue what became of them but am sure that some day my tax dollars will be supporting them somehow. I love America....


The wolves were successfully removed from the pen of sheep all night!

The only other issue I had was with my sheep...
At *My Department* we have a 'No PDA' policy, and a pretty strict one at that.
Now during dances we usually let the distance between bodies pretty much go to zero... except the mouths... that is one that we still enforce. So because I was RAOC and the chaperone I got the fun of using an air horn to let a few kissing couples know that it was not appreciated. It kinda kills the mood when you are pretty heavily kissing and an air horn goes off between you. Normally this would be a bid infraction with our points system, but the air horn embarrassment was enough tonight. EVERYONE noticed and got a good laugh at the surprise.

All in all it was a BUSY night but a fun one and hopefully the seniors had fun as this event was for them.

Congrats *My Department* Seniors 2011

Bugs are scary!

So this is an incident I ran into about a week ago and decided it was worth telling:

The day is Thursday, the time is 11:30pm, well into our quiet hours.
Lately in my hall I have had a lot of noise late at night with several doors being slammed. So I warned my residents at Wednesday wing meeting that I would be cracking down on noise and doors as people are starting to study more for exams coming up in a few weeks.

Anyway at 11:30 one night I am sitting in my dorm minding my own business when I just hear screaming and yelling. This isn't the type of screaming and yelling when there is an emergency, this is screaming and yelling from fear! I throw on my shoes and bolt down the hall to figure out what the problem is.

I bang on the door and am told to come inside. What I find surprised even me. I found four boys in the room. Two of them on a bed, one of them in the corner and another by the door. They were all screaming! Why? A bug.

Me: Do you know what time it is? Why are you screaming?

Resident: Swifty Morgan look at that bug!!!!

Me: *looks at bug then back at residents* ok cool, why are you screaming?

Resident: That thing was flying around, we don't know what it is, and we think it may reproduce asexually.

I KID YOU NOT! My resident told me he thought the bug could reproduce asexually. I had to work so hard not to laugh.

Me: Ok cool. ID's please. You are all getting documented for noise violations at 11:30 pm.

Resident: But Swifty, did you see the bug?!?!?

Me: Yes, I did. Now I want to see the ID's.

I documented four residents for screaming at 11:30.
Am I mean? Maybe.
Did they earn that doc? Yes
Am I sorry? No. Screaming is stupid.

So I documented them and some of them may lose points if they have two other documentations for the same violation within the past thirty days. (I know some of them are getting close because I have documented them recently).

I returned their ID's and asked where the bug went and they told me it had gone under the bed.
I wished them a good night and advised them to take out their pizza boxes more often. (There were several of them under the bed, and this is the same room that the pizza box adventure was about earlier this semester)

Was the bug big? YES, it was about four inches long, and was flying around the room and landed on a wall when I walked in.

How are these guys ever going to get a girlfriend if they scream like girls when a bug moves about the room. Time for some maturity and a big shoe.