Sometimes my residents like to live life on the edge. Push the limits a little bit and see what they can and cannot get away with...
In my unnamed dorm it is against policy to walk around without a shirt. For the girls floors this is a rule for obvious reasons but the guys with community bathrooms like to walk around without a shirt.
How did I work to curb this less than modest behavior?
Step one: Threaten to take your shirt off as well. Most residents think this would be an awful event and thus somehow seem to find a shirt right away.
Step two: Ask them to remember their shirt and inform them that the girl RA's and staff are fairly grossed out. Hopefully this will curb any desire to impress us, because if they are trying to impress the male staff on my floor we have other issues than walking around with no shirt on.
Step three: Inform them that they must now wear a shirt from this exact moment on or they will be documented.
Step four: The time to doc is always inconvenient. I think the residents plan it this way. They know when I am running late to a test and don't have much time to write out an information report. Let me tell you something, I have fingers of lightning, and a memory better than most. Lastly, I ENJOY writing reports, I get to write in third person and what not. Very fun stuff we are talking about here.
Here is an example of how I like to write my reports:
The most cunning and intelligent Resident Assistant Swifty Morgan attempted to shoot down three Russian fighter jets that were en route to UNNAMED RESIDENCE HALL with an anti-aircraft gun. At approximately 3:15pm the anti-aircraft gun jammed and RA Morgan effectively removed the three fighter jets with a yo-yo and a few crayola markers from UNNAMED airspace above UNNAMED hall.
Yeah folks, my reports are THAT COOL, and I NEVER exaggerate the story. Those planes were really Russian, not some Libyan nationalist wannabes.
Anyway, after I document you for no shirt, it would be unwise for you to walk around the hall shirtless. And when I see you and you run, I just laugh, mission accomplished, maybe now you realize that shirts are a good thing.
-Swifty Morgan
>Oh, and running is a doc too! ;)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Some people just like cows
Ever have a great day?
Really? ME TOO
So today I got to herd cattle. Most people might consider this 'work' however I consider it VERY FUN.
The day started with a drive about an hour from home over to a ranch that a friend of mine's grandparents own. Once there we got to drive around in our jeep wrangler on some back trails around the fields. That jeep is one awesome fun to drive vehicle but drinks gasoline like I was a rich Saudi oilman with my own refinery. The superhero sidekick girlfriend even likes the jeep! She said it was 'fun to drive' and she definately looks great driving it.
For lunch we had a picnic on top of a huge hill with a cross at the top that is visible from the interstate. Wonderful weather and a picnic at the foot of the cross was a perfect day.
After lunch we drove around exploring some more and then went back to the house and got recruited to fix 'The Kubota'. Now Kubota is a brand, and not a specific piece of machinery but if you are wondering what I was working on it looks very similar to the picture:
The operator had decided that it was time to take one a challenge most cows never overcome....
BARBED WIRE FENCES
So in a last stand of blazing glory and potential for eternal victory over what most cattle know as an impassable boundry the Kubota revved its thousand cc's with all its might to plow down that fence that stood in the way between normalcy and eternal recognition and dignity as the little kubota that could. It huffed and it puffed and it knocked that fence down!
I know it knocked it down because most of the fence was all caught up under the drivetrain.
So with what tools were available we went to work to fix the kubota for the ranch owner.
I heard that he ran over the fence on accident. I wasn't there, but I think my more dramatic story will suffice for now.
Ever hear the phrase 'When all you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail?'
Well for us it was 'When all you have is a hi-lift jack every problem looks too low'
or one that was most certainly true 'When all you have is a 5/8" socket everything is another size'
Anyway, finally got all the barbed wire out from under the kubota and found that it was time to herd cattle into the pen. In the movies people herd cattle from horseback, in 2011 people herd cattle from dodge trucks.
Lots of driving and honking but finally we got all those cows inside.
Overall a very fun day, we ate dinner at babes chicken dinner house which was great and made it home with light to spare.
-Swifty
Really? ME TOO
So today I got to herd cattle. Most people might consider this 'work' however I consider it VERY FUN.
The day started with a drive about an hour from home over to a ranch that a friend of mine's grandparents own. Once there we got to drive around in our jeep wrangler on some back trails around the fields. That jeep is one awesome fun to drive vehicle but drinks gasoline like I was a rich Saudi oilman with my own refinery. The superhero sidekick girlfriend even likes the jeep! She said it was 'fun to drive' and she definately looks great driving it.
For lunch we had a picnic on top of a huge hill with a cross at the top that is visible from the interstate. Wonderful weather and a picnic at the foot of the cross was a perfect day.
After lunch we drove around exploring some more and then went back to the house and got recruited to fix 'The Kubota'. Now Kubota is a brand, and not a specific piece of machinery but if you are wondering what I was working on it looks very similar to the picture:
The operator had decided that it was time to take one a challenge most cows never overcome....
BARBED WIRE FENCES
So in a last stand of blazing glory and potential for eternal victory over what most cattle know as an impassable boundry the Kubota revved its thousand cc's with all its might to plow down that fence that stood in the way between normalcy and eternal recognition and dignity as the little kubota that could. It huffed and it puffed and it knocked that fence down!
I know it knocked it down because most of the fence was all caught up under the drivetrain.
So with what tools were available we went to work to fix the kubota for the ranch owner.
I heard that he ran over the fence on accident. I wasn't there, but I think my more dramatic story will suffice for now.
Ever hear the phrase 'When all you have is a hammer every problem looks like a nail?'
Well for us it was 'When all you have is a hi-lift jack every problem looks too low'
or one that was most certainly true 'When all you have is a 5/8" socket everything is another size'
Anyway, finally got all the barbed wire out from under the kubota and found that it was time to herd cattle into the pen. In the movies people herd cattle from horseback, in 2011 people herd cattle from dodge trucks.
Lots of driving and honking but finally we got all those cows inside.
Overall a very fun day, we ate dinner at babes chicken dinner house which was great and made it home with light to spare.
-Swifty
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Long time no see?
Ok, I need to apologize, it has been crazy long since I have posted on here. Almost one month.
That is almost 1/12th of the year.
Too long.
Many exciting stories to share, but school has really been kicked up a notch lately. More tests and quizzes.
So as some of you may know I got the privilege to go visit New York City recently.
It was an awesome experience to say the least.
The superhero sidekick girlfriend that has been mentioned in posts before was going to play in Carnegie hall, and well the girlfriend's Grandmother, (Superhero Grandma) took me along to see the sidekick girlfriend play in NYC!
Thank you!
Want to hear a cool story from NYC? Yeah I guess so.
I stopped a runaway subway full of children from exploding into the statue of liberty thus protecting the future of America by saving the children and a national landmark that stands for democracy, freedom, and being buddies with french folks.
Just kidding. My trip was much more exciting than that made up story.
NYC is like a whole different land. It is like a gigantic concrete canyon that you never leave.
And what they say about NYC never sleeping is totally true. I was on the 14th floor of the hotel I stayed in and could hear traffic all night long. After the first night you grow used to it, and it is sorta soothing.
One of the cool parts of NYC was the food.
Dollar hot dog man! He sells hot dogs... for a dollar. That is like Quick Trip price down here. Way to go hot dog salesman. Even in rising economic times George Washington can still be traded for a hot dog.
Ray's pizza was great too. I thought it was very interesting how the sausage was sliced like pepperoni is normally. Made for some great pizza. And I went to an Alfredo's pizza next door to the hotel. The 'white pie' was really good. For those of you like me who had never heard of a white pie before it is basically just a cheese pizza with no sauce. I have no clue what kind of cheese but we will just refer to it as good cheese. I think that the white pie would have been FANTASTIC as cold breakfast pizza.
Looking for a good date idea?
Want to really impress a girl in NYC? Take her to times square late at night in the rain. Makes for quite the romantic stroll. If you are feeling super adventurous stop by the hard rock cafe and get the potato skins, but you have to try the sour cream. Guys: if you have never had sour cream before it will impress your girl a lot to try new foods. Trust me. And sour cream on potato skins tastes great. Overall being in times square at midnight in the light rain was super awesome.
One more thing before I have to get back to homework:
Are you bored on the plane? Like to draw?
Tomorrow on this very blog here I will feature some airplane art from some very talented artists!
-Swifty
That is almost 1/12th of the year.
Too long.
Many exciting stories to share, but school has really been kicked up a notch lately. More tests and quizzes.
So as some of you may know I got the privilege to go visit New York City recently.
It was an awesome experience to say the least.
The superhero sidekick girlfriend that has been mentioned in posts before was going to play in Carnegie hall, and well the girlfriend's Grandmother, (Superhero Grandma) took me along to see the sidekick girlfriend play in NYC!
Thank you!
Want to hear a cool story from NYC? Yeah I guess so.
I stopped a runaway subway full of children from exploding into the statue of liberty thus protecting the future of America by saving the children and a national landmark that stands for democracy, freedom, and being buddies with french folks.
Just kidding. My trip was much more exciting than that made up story.
NYC is like a whole different land. It is like a gigantic concrete canyon that you never leave.
And what they say about NYC never sleeping is totally true. I was on the 14th floor of the hotel I stayed in and could hear traffic all night long. After the first night you grow used to it, and it is sorta soothing.
One of the cool parts of NYC was the food.
Dollar hot dog man! He sells hot dogs... for a dollar. That is like Quick Trip price down here. Way to go hot dog salesman. Even in rising economic times George Washington can still be traded for a hot dog.
Ray's pizza was great too. I thought it was very interesting how the sausage was sliced like pepperoni is normally. Made for some great pizza. And I went to an Alfredo's pizza next door to the hotel. The 'white pie' was really good. For those of you like me who had never heard of a white pie before it is basically just a cheese pizza with no sauce. I have no clue what kind of cheese but we will just refer to it as good cheese. I think that the white pie would have been FANTASTIC as cold breakfast pizza.
Looking for a good date idea?
Want to really impress a girl in NYC? Take her to times square late at night in the rain. Makes for quite the romantic stroll. If you are feeling super adventurous stop by the hard rock cafe and get the potato skins, but you have to try the sour cream. Guys: if you have never had sour cream before it will impress your girl a lot to try new foods. Trust me. And sour cream on potato skins tastes great. Overall being in times square at midnight in the light rain was super awesome.
One more thing before I have to get back to homework:
Are you bored on the plane? Like to draw?
Tomorrow on this very blog here I will feature some airplane art from some very talented artists!
-Swifty
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